Top 5 Dysfunctional NFL Teams
What You Expect will take a deep dive into the top 5 dysfunctional NFL teams as of 2023.
1. Houston Texans
Easy choice for #1, there isn’t a more dysfunctional team than the absolutely pitiful Houston Texans. Lovie Smith is one and done, leaving the Houston Texans to search for their 3rd Head Coach since 2020. What was the point of hiring David Culley and Lovie Smith only to set them up for failure? Smith only got a year before getting the boot, why not just keep Culley? Let’s not forget about them signing a 38-year-old Josh McCown and then giving him a head coach interview.
Where do I even begin with these bums? How bout paying Brock Osweiler 72 million dollars for splitting snaps with an old Peyton Manning. Then the Texans had to do damage control by trading Osweiler WITH, not for, WITH a 2nd Round Pick just to get his salary off the books. Then there was trading DeAndre Hopkins, a Pro Bowl reciever, to the Arizona Cardinals for a can of Dr. Pibb.
All of their best players, Andre Johnson, Arian Foster, JJ Watt all retired on different teams. JJ Watt is literally the best player in franchise history and he got CUT, I don’t care if it was for cap relief, that’s pitiful. The Deshaun Watson situation also doesn’t help their case. This organization is an absolute dumpster fire and no one knows how to fix it. To put the icing on the cake, the Houston Texans won their final game of the season, leaving the Chicago Bears with the #1 pick. These morons can’t even lose correctly.
2. Las Vegas Raiders
New city, new stadium, same old sorry Raiders. Lemme guess, another missed postseason huh? The Raiders have been dysfunctional basically since Super Bowl 37. It’s safe to say they’ve made some really questionable decisions over the last few years. Remember they hired Mike Mayock, the draft analyst, to be their General Manager? Speaking of the draft, where are all your draft picks over the last few years?
What’s the point of having multiple first round picks if you just blow it? Jonathan Abram, Henry Riggs III, Damon Arnette and Alex Leatherwood being off the team before someone could successfully complete a Bachelor’s degree is absolutely insane. I know hindsight is 2020 but it really makes getting rid of Amari Cooper and Khalil Mack look extra dumb now. Then they threw all of their money at Jon Gruden only for him to be fired for sending inappropriate emails. 100 million well spent, huh guys?
Then you brought in Josh McDaniels to be your head coach. Josh McDaniels, the same guy who thought drafting Tim Tebow with a first round pick was a great idea. In 2022, you brought in Davante Adams to finally try to get Derek Carr over the hump and well…. The Raiders went 6-11 and Carr got benched to end the season. After another disappointing season, the Raiders will probably be looking to reset again.
3. Washington Commanders
Honestly, when was the last time Washington had a franchise quarterback? 2012 Robert Griffin III? Speaking of RGIII, they rushed him back where he reinjured himself. Everything about Washington is problematic. They traded FOR Carson Wentz. They have the worst owner in the NFL. Dan Snyder is an absolute scumbag and will probably be forced to sell the team at some point amid numerous sexual harassment and misconduct allegations.
How about the multiple times they tried a Sean Taylor memorial? FedEx Field is easily the worst stadium in the league. The field is falling apart and we got a great glimpse of that when it nearly killed Jalen Hurts after a game. They even had to change their name. After being the Redskins for more than 75 years, they “rebranded” to The Washington Football Team(yes, I’m serious) for the 2021 season.
Just off the name alone, they should’ve been eliminated from playoff contention. The “cellar dwellers” of the NFC East, it seems like it’s been an eternity since Washington won the division. They refused to pay Kirk Cousins, Dwayne Haskins(RIP) wasn’t the guy, They gave Carson Wentz and Taylor Heineke a chance. They finished 8-8-1, their first non losing record since 2016.
No situation sums up the current state of the Commanders then when they lost in Week 17 and Head Coach Ron Rivera was completely unaware of their elimination from postseason contention. How on earth could you be unaware given the state of the NFC East at that point? Especially when you’re the worst team in that division. Most of Washington’s problems start with ownership, I believe the team will vastly improve once Snyder is relieved of his duties.
4. Arizona Cardinals
By the time you’re reading this, the Cardinals will have hired a new regime. With General Manager Steve Keim stepping down due to health issues and Head Coach Kliff Kingsbury being fired, the Cardinals are once again in search of direction. It honestly doesn’t surprise me, they hired a coach who couldn’t even get a winning record at his college alma mater.
The Cardinals have made one postseason in the last six seasons. Despite going 11-6 in 2021 and making the playoffs for the first time since 2015, the Cardinals went backwards in 2022. The Cardinals were hurt everywhere, having to rely on Colt McCoy, Greg Dortch and Eno Benjamin to contribute. Star WR DeAndre Hopkins got suspended to start the season as well. I understand that’s a lot of adversity but there’s no excuse to lose 8 straight home games.
The Cardinals didn’t win a game at State Farm Stadium until Week 7 against New Orleans, absolutely atrocious. Even when Hopkins returned in Week 10, the team still stunk. Nothing says team with a bright future like Kyler Murray and DeAndre Hopkins literally arguing on the sidelines during a game. They actually got worse too, never winning again for the rest of the season. Not even signing veterans like JJ Watt and Zach Ertz could help the Cardinals avoid this 4-13 season.
This organization is an absolute mess, they don’t even want Hopkins anymore. The new regime needs to get things under control and end the drought in the desert.
5. Indianapolis Colts
The Indianapolis Colts are an absolute train wreck. Remember when you wasted a first-round pick on Trent Richardson? Or remember when you hired Josh McDaniels? Oh yeah, you announced him and everything only for him to call your GM and say just kidding. The Matt Ryan experience was awful as the veteran signal caller posted subpar numbers across the board. Ryan threw a little over 3,000 yards, 14 touchdowns and 13 interceptions while leading the Colts to a 4-7-1 record as a starter.
Frank Reich could only muster 3 wins before he got the boot. His replacement, interim Head Coach Jeff Saturday, said hold my beer and went 1-7. The Colts never beat the Houston Texans, despite the Texans going an abysmal 3-13-1. The fact that the Colts lost to the Texans in the last game of the season when the Texans had nothing to play for, shows how far this team has fallen from grace. The Colts didn’t win a single game after Week 10. Nothing sums up this sorry excuse for a team than their Week 15 game against the Minnesota Vikings.
Despite being up 33-0 at halftime, the Colts somehow forgot how to play football and were out scored 39-3 and they lost in overtime. This organization has been pipin hot garbage since Andrew Luck retired. Imagine getting a generational QB and getting him beat up so much that he left football at just age 29. Get a new coach, get a young QB and right the ship while Jonathan Taylor and Quenton Nelson are still in their primes.
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Honorable Mention: Cleveland Browns
Remember when the Browns finally made the playoffs in 2020? Well, it didn’t take too long for them to go back to mediocrity. Then they were playing games with Baker Mayfield, is he the guy or not? They didn’t know. When they found out, they traded for Houston Texans QB Deshaun Watson, despite over 20 sexual misconduct allegations against him. After that, they pay him over 200 million guaranteed, all while Baker was still on the team. This led to Mayfield being dealt to the Carolina Panthers and Jacoby Brissett would lead Cleveland for the first 11 weeks due to Watson’s suspension.
Brissett leads them to a 4-7 record and Watson returns just in time for his Week 13 matchup against his old team, the Houston Texans. Watson decided to show why he’s worth 200 million by going 3-3 as a starter, throwing 7 touchdowns to 5 interceptions and eliminating the Browns from the playoffs during a Week 16 loss to New Orleans on Christmas Eve. I still believe in Kevin Stefanski but the Browns gotta out something together. They have to see what they have in Deshaun and try their best not to waste the primes of Nick Chubb and Myles Garrett.